“Time Travel - 1994"
Acrylic paint + Canvas
4x4 in
This time travel series is inspired by the fluidity of time, space, and memory. In this pandemic, I've been exploring how interconnected and in movement everything is - from intergenerational trauma/healing to inner child work. I’m exploring traveling in and through the non linear relationship of time and space with curiosity, play, respect, and openness.
About “Time Travel - 1994”: An aspect that was revealing itself while I was painting this piece was the importance of honoring grief. Grief of what was lost - what I and the collective is losing. With these bright playful colors, I’m challenged to grieve without rushing. I’m challenged to grieve and see that it can exist and be honored while tending to myself. Portals appear where I can tend to my inner child. Time traveling to 1994 to my childhood room where I can remind her that she is worthy just as she is. She’s 5 years old and too attentive to keeping herself inline - trying to earn acceptance and love. But my adult self shows her that she is doing her best and that’s enough. I’ve time traveled to her to show her that I’m here, will always be here, and chooses to love her unconditionally.
This oppressive white supremest society will try its best to strip her from her body telling her that it’s ugly and bad. That it’s too Chinese. That she should be careful not to let her parent’s accent come through. That appeasing and contorting for the white gaze will save her. Will reward her, and it does - just like how a mirage rewards your hope just long enough. But soon enough she will learn after many many tries that a mirage is a mirage no matter how many people tell you it’s real.
Time traveling helps me make sense and extend more self compassion. Of course connecting with my body, my embodied medicine, my ancestors, and my truest form is hard sometimes. Just hopping through this portal, I can see that at the young age 5 (and probably way younger) I understood the terms and conditions of my context.