Happy Monday! We have week 23 of #TWmemorymondays.
So today's memory is happened about three years ago. I was online dating and was messaging this guy, who seemed cool. The conversation was flowing, and pretty fast there were plans to meet for coffee. For that coffee date, he as a no show, because a friend of his passed away suddenly. Totally understandable!
Then we made plans to meet at the coffee shop in whole foods near North/clybourne. On the day of, I can't remember exactly all that was said, but I remember wanting to see if he could meet half an our later. Or something like that! Then he was getting really snappy and rude. I remember feeling kind of confused...like maybe I was reading his tone wrong. .
At that time I was with my two friends @darbimasters and @jaclynsimpson. I remember telling them that I wasn't feeling it and that I didn't want to meet him anymore. They encouraged me to cancel the date. So I did! I told him I didn't want to meet him. He pushed me to tell him why, and I said I didn't feel comfortable.
THEN he went off. He sent me a long string of accusing, profane, degrading messages including calling me every racist term. I honestly didn't event know all the words he wrote until I googled some of them. He was REALLY REALLY angry. After the first two back and forths, I didn't respond and reported him right away.
So thankful I was with two of my best friends that day!! It was scary!! I didnt know what he was capable of, and if it was just all talk. And I kept on thinking if I did end up meeting with him what would have happened. Maybe it would be normal...and I wouldn't know about his pent up rage and racism.
It brings me to the realization of how hyper aware I am and need to be - to detect any hint of racism and fetishism. Not only because it's wrong and gross, but because it's unsafe.
I hate that if I'm going through a guy's photos and there's an Asian girl in it, I instantly wonder if they only date Asian women or have "yellow fever." I hate that I do that....but I also need to be aware. The objectifying of Asian culture and women is real and harmful...and it's sad that I need to weigh it into my dating life.
#TWmemorymondays: A painting inspired by a memory every Monday of 2018. Connecting abstract art to real life. Week 23/53. 'Pent Up' / 8x8 in / mixed media on paper