Month of rest and dreaming:
As I shared in the last blog post, I took August off from leading workshops/webinars. My intentions were: to practice rest, dream of what can be this coming fall and winter, refocus, get back into the practice of painting, and celebrate my birth month. It took the first three weeks were honestly hard for me to practice rest - alot of anxiety came up about the uncertainty of the future. I felt so much of self appointed pressure to produce something amazing for the fall/winter. I felt grief of what I have left behind.
All off those feelings were so necessary for me to go through, and I now feel relief and am experiencing deep rest. It felt like a detox! My neck pain that I wrote about last month is SO much better this month…thank goodness.
I’m incredibly thankful I have a community around me that actively supports me and accepts me in this process. Learning more and more what interdependence looks and feels like.
Back into painting:
As you probably have observed, I’ve stuck to a very specific color palette in the past many years. At the beginning of August, I felt a strong impulse to give myself permission to play with freedom. I usually have a rule where I won’t use more than 3-4 colors per piece, which has served me before, but for this new piece I let myself paint with many colors without double guessing myself. I felt my inner child perk up.
This piece is inspired by a few imageries/visions my ancestors gave to me in July, and I’m excited to share the finished result. Getting back into painting reminded me how it’s such an incredible way to be embodied and let go of perfectionism. I’ve been thinking alot about the difference between excellence and perfectionism…I’ll share more about this another time!
Love album:
No I didn’t get a cat! But I have lots of cat photos saved in a new photo album on my phone. My dear friend Stephanie (the owner of this adorable cat - Morris) shared with me about how it’s helpful for her to save photos and screen shots of texts that can bring comfort and remind her that she’s loved. So on my birthday, I decided to do that! It’s so easy for me to feel like I’m alone (especially in this pandemic), but having tangible reminders of all the beautiful relationships I have will come in handy in those moments. The album also has things that make me laugh and are cute :). I encourage you to start a love album if you haven’t already!
Books:
I thought that this month I would get so much reading done, but when I tuned into my body and needs - I didn’t want to read and intake. So I gave myself permission not to read! It sounds simple, but it isn’t for me. While I love to learn and grow, I find myself trying to achieve through reading/podcasts/documentaries etc. I’m reframing intake of information and education to authentically serve me and society. I didn’t have capacity to read, because I needed that space to cultivate creativity and internalize what already is understood cognitively. Practicing self trust.
Birthday celebrations:
Pandemic times calls for lots of one on one birthday celebrations in parks, and I’m thankful for it! It was a week and a half of birthday hangouts. Lots of meaningful celebrations and good food. Lots of laughter! 2020 birthday made me really grateful for the friendships I have and are deepening. Practicing interdependence isn’t always easy, but these moments makes me so in awe to have to opportunity to practice interdependence with some amazing humans.
summer corn + dumplings:
I’ve been eating alot of summer corn this month and it’s so good! My go to’s are cutting the corn off of the cob and cooking it in some butter and miso. I always save the cobs and freeze them. When I have enough cobs, I make corn soup with them by just putting them in a pot of water - to make it yummier I add miso and some chicken soup base. I love putting vegetable Korean dumplings into the corn soup with a drizzle of sesame oil. Such a easy and satisfying meal!
transformative justice - mia mingus:
I attended a Transformative Justice webinar hosted by Mia Mingus, and it gave me so much clarity. Over the past 1.5 yrs I’ve learned about transformative justice through Adrienne Maree Brown and a few other activists, but this 2 hr webinar gave me framework that is so needed right now - where I am in my work. One take away was how it’s so much more transformative to uphold systems of self accountability - instead of policing people into the “right” behavior. We need to invest in preventative work that lowers or eliminates violence, because it is so much harder to intervene with violence once it’s in crisis mode.
Over this year, I’ve read alot of public apologies and feel like I can spot a bad one a mile away. Mia Mingus spells out accountability so well! Read these two blog posts by her: The Four Parts of Accountability: How to Give a Genuine Apology - Part 1 + Part 2.
new fall bipoc series:
After struggling for the first few weeks of August in not being sure what I should offer, I felt strongly my ancestors speaking: it will be about inner child work. It resonated with me deeply and I knew it would with the collective too. I knew that the emphasis won’t be pushing the inner healing in a reactive and harsh way - it will be giving space to regain the trust of our wounded inner child in a gentle way. For many of us, when we were young, our emotions and needs were not honored. We were forced to behave in a way that taught us to disregard our needs and feelings…to think that our needs and feelings are too much and are bad. Many of us also internalized that harm that was done was our fault when in reality it was because we weren’t protected adequately by our caretakers.
So meeting our wounded inner child where they are at is so healing. Using art making can also be so healing, because it engages them in an embodied way and encourages play and joy. I’m really excited to be facilitating space where the collective can do this together.
For more info and to register, visit my website.
Going slow:
Posted this on my IG
“I’ve been in conversations with my friends about what does it mean to truly do our life’s work that aligns with transformative justice - with BIPOC liberation.
And the conversations always lands on: going slow, not being reactive, being rooted in relationship, doing ego work, embodying the values, always acknowledging privilege, having systems of accountability in place, being trauma informed, and being able to see the big picture.
Going slow doesn’t mean there isn’t urgency in keeping the system and everyone in it accountable, but to me it means that I don’t get sucked into the game of proving. Proving that I’m good enough for liberation work. Proving that I’m worth being paid for my labor. Proving that I have the answers (which I don’t.) Proving that I can do this work on my own (which I can’t.)
White supremest capitalistic colonialism *red flags*
I’m invested in the relationships in this collective, which takes time to grow. This morning, I’m rooting you on especially if you feel alone in your decolonial vision. Rooting you on in cultivating deep relationships that will ground you.”
Part 2:
“Learning from Mia Mingus about Transformative Justice was incredible yesterday. This morning I’m soaking in at how important being in authentic relationship is. Justice/liberation/healing work needs to be carried out on an interpersonal and political level. Mia Mingus reminded me that it’s easier to talk about big sweeping statements about the system, but it’s harder to be vulnerable with a close friend about being hurt.
How can we claim to be pursuing this work when we can’t even communicate and have nuanced conversations within our families and inner circles? Transformative Justice needs to be congruent on the big and small scale. And this is also why being trauma informed is so important!
I wrote about going slow in the last post, and I SO believe in it. It gives me space to learn, grow, be self accountable, listen, adjust, repair, and actually have margin for interdependence.
This month, my love of painting has been reignited. I painted slower than I’ve ever had before. I’m not finished with the piece I started at the beginning of the month, and I’m thankful. I’m thankful this morning for the opportunity to do this life’s work in community.”
Ending summer:
I hope these blog posts inspire you to do your own personal reflections and to take time to internalize all that you’ve been learning. The next season is around the corner. It’s time to pause and look back to see what we want to continue to grow and what needs to be left behind.
Something I still feel so strongly about is accessibility. Would you consider giving a one time contribution through Venmo: @tiffanywongart ?
My BIPOC Healing Fund makes all of my offerings (workshops, webinars, mentorships) accessible to BIPOC. My hope is to never turn down Black and Brown folx who would benefit from what I have to offer. I believe that this work has to be collective. I’m not interested in doing this alone and I firmly believe that it takes the collective to dismantle the white supremest system.