WELCOME:
There are new faces here, and I wanted to say a special welcome and thank you for joining me here! In my monthly Journals, I share what inspiration, things that I’ve been doing, and thoughts on the past month. Hope it brings you inspiration and also a sense that you’re not alone. I find that those who join me are on the same journey and vibrations. If something sticks out to you or if you want to share with me what your thoughts and questions are, please always feel free to contact me!
word of the month: patience
The universe is teaching me the valuable lesson of patience. This season is realizing how rushed I always feel. I feel rushed to be better, to grow, to heal, to know more, to change/undo/rewire faster. I talk about this in an interview I was part of hosted by Nisha Mody’s new podcast “MigrAsians.” So much of the desire to strive so hard is based on a capitalistic white supremest mindset: that if I try hard enough, work hard enough, I can be perfect. And the inverse is that if I don’t work really hard, I’m lacking and lazy.
I’m learning that healing doesn’t work under constraints of oppression (or doesn’t happen that effectively). Healing calls for me to be more self compassionate, patient, and understanding. It calls for curiosity of what is happening in my body. I’m noticing so much anxiousness, because I don’t see the results in “healing” that I am urgently expecting. Through so many people including Dr. Rosales Meza, I am lovingly reminded that over thinking and gritting my way through life is colonial. Liberation looks like patience in the journey of decolonization. The transition from surviving to thriving includes the shadow work of facing how deep the conditioning is - it’s grieving it too.
Together, let’s continually remind each other to be patient with ourselves as we heal.
podcast:
migrasions by Nisha Mody
I’m so honored to have created the cover of this podcast AND be interviewed on it!
This is MigrAsian’s description: MigrAsians is a podcast about creative and political Asians and how their story of migration informs their work. The Asian diaspora runs far and wide, as does Asian immigration history. All of this has birthed the model minority myth as well as a myriad of stereotypes that don't consider nuance or the vastness of this continent. Meet artists, activists, writers, advocates, and other creatives and politicos that are deeply affected by their path of immigration.
So dreamy right? Please check out the podcast and the episode that I’m on. I talk about my creative process, things I’m currently learning, my relationship with time and perfectionism. I really enjoyed talking to Nisha, and I think you’ll enjoy listening to it too! Also, support MigrAsians on Patreon!
Book:
Currently reading Emergent Strategy by Adrienne Maree Brown. Last year I read Pleasure Activism by Brown, and it will hold special to me for the rest of my life. As I suspected, I’m already crying in the intro. The words pierces my heart and resonates in my soul. Read this quote:
Also, THIS FOOTNOTE!!
day of remembrance:
I went Day of Remembrance at the Chicago History Museum, where there was a program to commemorate the Japanese Americans who were incarcerated during WWII. It started with the showing of the documentary “ALTERNATIVE FACTS: THE LIES OF EXECUTIVE ORDER 9066,” an interview with the director, and ended with homemade snacks at the reception. This is the synopsis of the film:
“ALTERNATIVE FACTS: The Lies of Executive Order 9066 is a one-hour documentary feature film about the false information and political influences which led to the World War II incarceration of Japanese Americans.
ALTERNATIVE FACTS sheds light on the people and politics that influenced the signing of the infamous Executive Order 9066, which authorized the mass incarceration of nearly 120,000 Japanese Americans. The film exposes the lies used to justify the decision and the cover-up that went all the way to the United States Supreme Court. ALTERNATIVE FACTS will also examine the parallels to the current climate of fear, targeting of immigrant communities, and similar attempts to abuse the powers of the government. ”
I appreciated the documentary so much because it not only tells the truth of the deceitful things that government officials did, but it shows how the same thing has happened since then and are happening now. The Muslim Ban. The incarceration of undocumented immigrants - families separated - kids in cages. This is the time where we can stand up for one another and demand justice. I was struck by learning that during that time when Japanese Americans were in the prison camps, no one protested and marched for them. I love how the Japanese community is organizing together saying #NeverAgainIsNow #CloseTheCamps, and we should join them. Communities of color advocating for each other fills me with so much hope!
Support Tsuru for Solidarity and Jas for Justice
this prase:
I shared this on ig
“Not a big deal”
Black and Brown folx, how many times have you thought that about your own experiences? It's that kind of thinking that says what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. ACTUALLY what doesn't kill you doesn't always make you stronger.
When I was in therapy for the first time in 2011, talking about why I didn't think "it was a big deal" took up the majority of the time. My therapist walked me through observing why I have to quantify it. Then fast forward to 2019, while I made tremendous strides in healing - that same conversation happened! (And that’s ok because healing is a process and isn’t linear).
I'm learning that undermining our own trauma (personal, inter generational, collective) is a way to cope and survive. As all my recent conversations with friends go...I'm interested in more than surviving - I'm invested in thriving. Colonization wants us to undermine our trauma and grief, because "there are always people who have it worse." Which is totally true! But collective liberation means that the small and big movements that we do to healing and nourish ourselves WILL affect the greater community and future generations.
I want to commit to self compassionately catch myself from saying "it's not a big deal." And acknowledge feelings and root causes/wounds.
good company:
A snapshot shot of the yummy food Al Kelly and I consumed at Lost Larson
This month was full of good food and company. I was brought up in a household where eating together and enjoying quality food was a priority, and since I’ve been living alone for 4+ years, I’ve forgotten how important it is. I’ve spent so many meals where I just eat to eat, and I’m not even tasting what I’m eating! Horrible I know! But February reminded me how nourishing it is to laugh, talk, and TASTE with friends. I write so much about radical BIPOC JOY, and eating with friends and loved ones is such a big part of it. It’s healing! I will be actively making this happen much more.
my new project:
SO THIS. This is something that’s dear to my heart and felt very vulnerable to announce! It is my Guide to Healing through Art for Black and Brown Folx. If you’re here, you probably know about it already and there are plenty of information on Patreon and also on IG. But what I will write about is how it feels so far to have it started: it feels aligned to what I believe in. I believe in collective healing, power of creating, prioritizing BIPOC, the importance of being embodied, and that liberation can be experienced in real tangible ways. It’s exciting to have already 12 people join me on this endeavor!
What I need more: white friends and allies to sign up for the tiers where more BIPOC can have access to the guide for $1 (Patreon doesn’t allow a free tier.) Paying me or other BIPOC is anti racism work. It is easy to talk and buying more books to keep on learning (which is great), but where your real life resources $$$$ goes is a HUGE part of the work. So help me spread the word, and make this guide available to all BIPOC.
And for Black and Brown folks who are signed up, I am so excited!! Please let me know what your experience is and I welcome all your thoughts and questions. We are in this together.
Workshops:
I taught two workshops in February! And it reminded me of how much I enjoy leading people to play and do something that nourishes them - with no agenda. Hoping to line up more workshops in the next couple of months. If you know a company that would be interested in providing a painting workshop for their teams or clients, let me know!