It was a long month:
May was heavy and June didn’t get easier. I felt like we lived a year in these two months! Roe v. Wade was overturned…even though it wasn’t a surprise, it’s still terrifying. My partner and I were on a two month break to reassess things, which was needed - but was heartbreaking. Admist all the grief and heaviness, I had some really beautiful moments. Moments that made me feel really proud of who I’ve become. Moments where I was able to get grounded enough to enjoy the still summer sky and walks around my neighborhood. And that’s life I guess! A constant combination of horrifying and beautiful things.
painting + healing:
I’ve been really like painting again! I’m slowly working on two pieces that resembles quilts. As I was and am processing my relationship, I was confronted about how there are so many ways to stitch together a narrative. All which aren’t untrue. My tendency is to try to make sense of everything…like everything up - so that I can feel better. Like that will help me figure out the future. It’s so easy to obsess and ruminate over every little thing, and then come to some simplistic conclusion. But the more I heal and grow, I learn that the constantly trying to learn how/why people do what they do - is a coping mechanism. Intellectualizing everything is me trying to find predictability. What I think or learn about can be helpful and true, but ultimately isn’t what will give me peace. Showing up for myself, being vulnerable to my community, taking ownership over my choices - that is what will ultimately give me the fulfillment I’m looking for. It’s so hard though! Because it is way easier to focus on other people and what they aren’t doing right. Anyways, painting has been helpful to slow me down and remind my body to enjoy what is in front of me.
back stoop:
I’ve been spending alot of needed time alone on the weekends. One of my favorite things to do is to get out my camping chair and place it on my stairway landing. It’s my make shift porch, and I love it! I bring out my big bottle of water, my journal, and a few books. The best thing is that I can hear so many birds from there. They are living their best life! I saw a tiktok explained how it’s so good for our nervous system to listen to birds, because the birds are singing - it means that they feel safe. So it sends our nervous system the signal that we are safe too. Being outside on my back stoop is a small thing that has made a big difference in how I enjoy my week.
Fundraiser for chicago abortion fund:
My friend Gabby and I organized Blooms in Totes - an organizer for Chicago Abortion Fund before Roe v. Wade was overturned. We had no idea that the timing would be so synchronistic. It makes me so angry that so many people were celebrating such an atrocious decision - including so many christians that I’ve aligned myself to in my past. For them to think that this act of violence of taking away bodily autonomy + healthcare will help people…makes me sick. Even if they think that fetuses are have souls, the fact that there are less abortions when there is access to reproductive care/clinics…it’s obvious that they don’t care about babies or those who can get pregnant. It makes me more energized to allocate my time + resources to protecting our communities. If you want to donate to Blooms in Totes (even if you can’t buy one), you can do that on my website.
Asian Slaw:
I’ve been eating the same slaw all month, and I love it! It keeps in the fridge. It’s crunchy, aromatic, tangy. It’s super easy to make! All you have to do is mix together shredded cabbage + carrots and chop up green onions + cilantro. The vinaigrette is miso paste, white wine vinegar, sugar, fish sauce, soy sauce, and sesame oil. Toss it all together and sprinkle some crushed roasted peanuts - and it’s all good to go. I’ve added it to tacos, eaten it over rice, ate it as a salad…it’s the perfect summer salad!
Book:
disorientation by elaine hsieh chou
I finished this book! 10/10!!! Add it to your list. I loved every bit of it!
All about love by bell hooks
Working my way through it for the second time very slowly and thoroughly.
portrait of a thief by grace d. li
I just started it, and I can tell it’s going to be a fun read!
the school for good mothers by jessamine chan
I’m about half way through the book, and I’m hooked! The book begins like it’s set in our real world, but as it continues you realize it’s actually in a dystopian world. It’s made me think alot, and I’m looking forward to the twists that I feel coming up.
Documentary series:
keep sweet: pray and obey
This terrifying documentary examines the rise of Warren Jeffs in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and his shocking criminal case. It’s filled with sickening acts of violence against children. I think it fascinates me (along with all cult documentaries), because it shows how cults and organized groups maintain their culture and how they protect their leaders. It helps me make sense of the evangelical church, because it has so many similar themes. The atrocities are different and less extreme, but the way they indoctrinate children and adults is the same.
what has been bringing me joy:
As I mentioned in the beginning, in-between the grief an the tears, I’ve been trying to stay present with the sweet and beautiful moments.
Most Thursday evenings, I’ve been dropping by my local farmers market on my way home. Seeing familiar faces has been really heart warming. With one farmer, I’ve been telling them how I’ve been cooking their veggies.
Making videos on tiktok/IG that summarize my week
This incredible porcini pasta from Caro Mio
Picking mulberries from the side of the road and then seeing this beautiful view of the river over the bridge
collaborations:
It has also been bringing me so much joy to collaborate with a dear friend of mine. Peregrine is an incredible artist/healer/herbalist, and they are raising funds for their herbalism clinical training in Brooklyn. We came up with two totes and a t-shirt with Peregrine’s own illustrations. They came out so awesome!! All proceeds go to Peregrine’s training - you can buy the tees + totes here!
one day at a time:
Staying present. Staying hydrated. Wishing you all lots of love in this season! One more thing, if you’re in Chicago area, I’m teaching a meditative watercolor class with Volition Tea on July 23rd. There will be painting and a tea brewing portion - it’s going to be a very soothing session. Check out the workshop and get your tickets!