What are your intersections?
I identify as Australian, American, and Indian (South Asian), and a cisgender heterosexual female.
What is your background?
My parents came to Australia from South India, riding the wave of 1980’s Asian immigration. They were teachers in India, so education and self-sufficiency were key principles. The notions of female capability, intelligence, and independence were always assumed, and never a question. My dad played an equal role in the home to my mum, taking care of grocery shopping, cleaning, and laundry. His example set me up to define an equal partnership with my now-husband throughout the nascent phases of our relationship, and today, as new parents navigating careers and home life.
My childhood growing up in Western Sydney was diverse and middle class, attending Christian school with kids from Poland, Mali, Fiji, Egypt, the Philippines, etc. Although I saw a rainbow of faces around me, the idea of white superiority penetrated my young psyche. I recall being seven or eight, staring at my hands and wondering if it was all a dream, that I would wake up and be my true self, a white kid.
We moved to Chicago in the 90’s, and money was tight. I remember shopping at Kmart and thrift stores, and thinking about how to rotate wearing my t-shirts, so it wasn’t so obvious I only had a few. I was fortunate to receive an excellent public school education at one of Chicago’s magnet high schools. My best friends spanned the spectrum - some were well-off, gay and agnostic, others lower income, straight, and Muslim. Growing up in a melting pot across two countries makes it easy for me to find common threads with people from myriad backgrounds - via food culture, education, religion, being first-generation, etc.
Often, Americans with little knowledge (re: Indigenous/Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) will meet me, notice my skin color, learn that I am Australian, and ask if I’m “Aborigine or native.” This never happens when in Australia or interacting with Aussies in America, and demonstrates how quickly assumptions are made about race and identity, based on individual experience and education.
How do your intersections affect you?
I became a mother last year to a focused, curious, and funny little girl. My daughter is already different from me in significant ways. First, she is racially mixed - Indian and Jewish. She will not be bullied at school for her skin colour, as I was. She will not fight to rise above, when deflecting comments from her aunts and uncles about how dark skin is undesirable, as I did. However, she will be labeled “ethnically ambiguous,” be stereotyped and objectified, and be asked, “so, what ARE you?” Second, she is growing up in a financial situation more privileged than my own, at her age. I wrestle with the fact that she will not intimately understand “The Struggle” of first generation/poor kids - having to learn and navigate foreign, complex systems ourselves, without parental assistance or networks. To curb a sense of entitlement, my husband and I have committed that not every available opportunity will be automatically provided to her. I also feel sadness about the physical distance from my parents/her grandparents. They live in Australia, so my daughter lacks everyday chances to be steeped in Indian food culture, language, and values. I teach her the things I know, but she will have less affinity to “the source” of this major part of her mother’s identity. But, I’m on the journey of becoming comfortable with her intersections being different from my own. I realise how important it is that she guide this herself, to achieve personal affirmation and security.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 16/52. 'Karen' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper