Week 19.yena

What are your intersections?

I am Canadian-born, and my background is half Chinese and half European. I identify as a woman, and have recently come to terms with my fluid sexuality. I’m comfortable with the label “bisexual” for myself, but I’m still figuring it out.

What is your background?

I grew up in a predominantly white suburb, and remember sensing my otherness from a young age. I am privileged in so many ways—I come from a financially stable and supportive family and my light skin and white-resembling features have allowed me to pass as “ethnically ambiguous”. But race was never a topic of conversation in my family, and it wasn’t until I was older that I become aware that all these seemingly odd quirky things about my family and Chinese grandparents were really cultural traditions shared by so many people. I had always just thought my family was a little odd, and tried to hide these embarrassing details. I was the only mixed-race cousin on both sides of my family growing up, which feels like a microcosm for my existence in this world. Not really white, but not Chinese enough to fit in comfortably with what I thought of as “real Asians”. My very existence felt and sometimes still feels like a contradiction.

How do your intersections affect you?

I remember being about 7 or 8 and looking in the mirror and absolutely hating what I saw. I used to obsess over making lists of all the features I wish I had, and it was always the same: blonde hair, big blue eyes, pale skin with a peachy undertone (not yellow), and no body hair. I started wearing a clothespin on my nose at home to try to make it more pointy like the faces of my classmates. I thanked whatever god I believed in at that time that my eyes were big at least. I think of this little girl hating every bit of herself that wasn’t white and it makes my heart bleed. And I think of all the other people who look in the mirror and feel the same way and it makes me want to take action. It makes me want to work harder at dismantling all the white supremacist bullshit we live with, and uplift all the BIPOC who are out there grappling with that same hatred.

I feel like I’m just beginning to reclaim those parts of me that I shunned for so long. For the first time in my life, I feel proud to tell people my Chinese name. I feel proud of the foods I ate and grew up with, and we’re working on incorporating some of those dishes into our cooking at home. I feel so proud of all the Chinese traditions and culture still present in my life, but also such shame for the parts I’ve lost. I had dinner with all my Chinese cousins recently, after years of not seeing them. I went home feeling so broken and lost seeing how in touch they all still were with their heritage. Their fluency in Cantonese and the everyday culture present in their lives had me feeling so inadequate. When I shared these feelings with my internet sisters, they reminded me that my culture and ethnicity is mine to claim. It lives within me, and neither time nor space can take that away.

What has helped me feel comfortable in my own skin more than anything else is the community I’ve found online. When the #10x10representationmatters community grew, it was one of the first times I felt like I just fit somewhere. I felt understood and seen, in a way I never have before. There was space for me, and for all of us there. It felt like coming home.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 19/52. 'Yena' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 18.Sally

What are your intersections?

I am a first generation Mexican-Salvadoran-American, straight, cisgender Identifying woman born and raised in Native Tongva Land(Los Angeles, CA).

What is your background?

I grew up in what you would call a lower class family. My mom immigrated to the States for a better life and a way to support her two daughters from a previous relationship and my father was escaping the civil war in El Salvador. My parents were garment workers in L.A for years. They worked really hard to provide for my two younger brothers and me(sometimes working up to three jobs at once). I seriously don’t know how they did it. My parents also didn’t know any English at the time! This resulted In me having to grow up really fast, figure everything out myself and having to take care of my two younger brothers. I remember getting so frustrated and upset that they couldn’t help me with my homework or that I had to do all these tasks while my brothers could just do whatever they wanted. At the time I resented them a lot but I’ve realized that they have worked so hard and gone far and beyond to give my siblings and I the best life they could. In the end, my upbringing has helped me be the independent person that I am.

How do your intersections affect you?

I’ll be honest, for the longest, I didn’t embrace being a Latinx. I didn’t grow up listening to the music or was ever really fully immersed in the Mexican or Salvadoran Culture. My parents tried to acclimate to this culture more and well, I was also afraid of being called “chunti.” When you’re growing up you want to fit in so bad to everyone else. Yet, no matter how hard you try and you’re never American enough or Latinx enough. Not only that but Colorism is so prominent and I didn’t realized how bad it was until I got older. All those comments about not staying out in the sun for too long because you’ll get darker weren’t about the possibility of getting skin cancer but about not wanting to have darker skin because it isn’t “desirable.” How toxic is that! I’m 28 and I’m finally coming to terms with who I am as a person. I’m Embracing my skin, ethnicity and culture while also trying to acknowledging the areas in which the Latinx culture needs to improve and do better! I know that I can’t exactly change the entire Latinx community, but If i can make changes within myself then maybe I can help and teach others.

I know my IG is very lifestyle and “fashion” focuses but Lately, I feel super energized on focusing a lot of my attention on my work in raising awareness and working towards more outdoor equity and outdoor access for all. Wether that’s through sharing more of what I do for a living on here or getting even more involved with the organizations and councils I’m part of. The outdoors has had such a positive impact in my life, I want to share and make all these experiences accessible to all of my fellow BIPOC who have for so long been excluded from the outdoor narratives.

I want my Latinx community to be proud of themselves and not be ashamed of were they come from. It doesn’t matter if you speak the language or not, it doesn’t make you any less, Mexican, Salvadoran, Dominican, etc. Our culture is so vibrate, charismatic and loving, it definitely something to be proud of.

Ive also been self reflecting on the privilege I do have and how I can use it to benefit other BIPOC.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 18/52. 'Sally' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 17.mom

Today is week 17 of #TWintersectionalfridays! I'm excited to share with you small interview with mom, Karen @karenwongus ! I asked her when she thinks about her childhood what food comes to mind that brought her JOY.
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This ties into my conversation about interaectionality, because it is important to not only talk about how systems of oppression affect Intersectionality, it's also important to celebrate and have JOY about things from the past and the present. Erasure of ourselves can happen in so many ways and one of the ones is when we don't see things from our culture as valuable and experienced with joy. It happens when we forget what has brought us joy. It happens when we don't celebrate and cherish our culture here and now.
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I asked my mom to describe the food that she cherished when she was a child in Hong Kong in Cantonese and English. I wanted to share a tiny piece of how much joy she experiences when talking about food and family. Also, because language is such an integral piece of culture. To watch the interview, go to my Instagram highlights - titled “Friday 17.”
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 17/52. 'Mom' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 16.Karen

What are your intersections?

I identify as Australian, American, and Indian (South Asian), and a cisgender heterosexual female.

What is your background?

My parents came to Australia from South India, riding the wave of 1980’s Asian immigration. They were teachers in India, so education and self-sufficiency were key principles. The notions of female capability, intelligence, and independence were always assumed, and never a question. My dad played an equal role in the home to my mum, taking care of grocery shopping, cleaning, and laundry. His example set me up to define an equal partnership with my now-husband throughout the nascent phases of our relationship, and today, as new parents navigating careers and home life. 

My childhood growing up in Western Sydney was diverse and middle class, attending Christian school with kids from Poland, Mali, Fiji, Egypt, the Philippines, etc. Although I saw a rainbow of faces around me, the idea of white superiority penetrated my young psyche. I recall being seven or eight, staring at my hands and wondering if it was all a dream, that I would wake up and be my true self, a white kid. 

We moved to Chicago in the 90’s, and money was tight. I remember shopping at Kmart and thrift stores, and thinking about how to rotate wearing my t-shirts, so it wasn’t so obvious I only had a few. I was fortunate to receive an excellent public school education at one of Chicago’s magnet high schools. My best friends spanned the spectrum - some were well-off, gay and agnostic, others lower income, straight, and Muslim. Growing up in a melting pot across two countries makes it easy for me to find common threads with people from myriad backgrounds - via food culture, education, religion, being first-generation, etc. 

Often, Americans with little knowledge (re: Indigenous/Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) will meet me, notice my skin color, learn that I am Australian, and ask if I’m “Aborigine or native.” This never happens when in Australia or interacting with Aussies in America, and demonstrates how quickly assumptions are made about race and identity, based on individual experience and education.

How do your intersections affect you?

I became a mother last year to a focused, curious, and funny little girl. My daughter is already different from me in significant ways. First, she is racially mixed - Indian and Jewish. She will not be bullied at school for her skin colour, as I was. She will not fight to rise above, when deflecting comments from her aunts and uncles about how dark skin is undesirable, as I did. However, she will be labeled “ethnically ambiguous,” be stereotyped and objectified, and be asked, “so, what ARE you?” Second, she is growing up in a financial situation more privileged than my own, at her age. I wrestle with the fact that she will not intimately understand “The Struggle” of first generation/poor kids - having to learn and navigate foreign, complex systems ourselves, without parental assistance or networks. To curb a sense of entitlement, my husband and I have committed that not every available opportunity will be automatically provided to her. I also feel sadness about the physical distance from my parents/her grandparents. They live in Australia, so my daughter lacks everyday chances to be steeped in Indian food culture, language, and values. I teach her the things I know, but she will have less affinity to “the source” of this major part of her mother’s identity. But, I’m on the journey of becoming comfortable with her intersections being different from my own. I realise how important it is that she guide this herself, to achieve personal affirmation and security.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 16/52. 'Karen' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 15.closed giveaway

Giveaway closed ** Today is week 15 of #TWintersectionalfridays, and it's a special edition where I'm going to dive into the background of the project. Swipe to read some questions and answers. You can also watch my instastories/highlight for an more in depth talk through.
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Also! Instead of creating a new piece today, I'm going to be doing a GIVEAWAY. Two pieces (8x8 in original artwork) in the image are up for grabs. Here are the instructions:
1. Be following me
2. Tag accounts/people who give you JOY and COURAGE to be all of you. No limit. And if you're feeling like it, tell them why you tagged them. 💕

I will be choosing TWO winners tomorrow at noon CST! Good luck!
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 15/52. 'Why' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

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Week 14.Jo

What are your intersections?

I am a Chinese-Canadian cishet woman. I was born in Hong Kong, and immigrated to British Columbia with my family when I was six years old. I belong to a branch on my family tree where we all moved away from the homeland, all within a few years.

 My father’s siblings + families are flung all around the world: Australia, the UK, San Diego, Toronto… 

I belong to a generation of cousins that remember a before, and an after.

What is your background?

We left Hong Kong shortly after the Tiananmen Square Massacre, and before Hong Kong’s sovereignty was to be given back to China. Politically, things in Hong Kong just felt untenable for my parents. Many, many people left in that timeframe, adding to the Chinese diaspora. 

We moved to a predominately white suburb in BC, and I distinctly remember my otherness, and my need to grasp the English language like right now. 

It was terrifying. I only had a few phrases, including “dog”, “cat”, “where is bathroom”. I remember crying a lot that first year in ESL. 

I have such empathy for english language learners, and feel frustrated that the general North American perception is that people who are not fully fluent are lacking somehow. I work in the education field, and I think that most people have this sense of impatience and superiority over those who struggle with English (even though these same folks likely only speak ONE LANGUAGE THEMSELVES).

How do your intersections affect you?

Honestly, I feel like I so rarely see the process of immigration discussed in North America, but this life event has had more impact on the foundation of my identity than anything else -- including marriage and motherhood. It really shaped me. 

It felt like being struck by lightning to realize how different I was, to have my tongue feel fuzzy when talking to native English speakers, to know that my eye shape didn’t match anything I saw on these endless channels of TV, to intuit that no one had a crush on the one other asian boy in my class, but yes yes yes to the Andrews and Scotts and Michaels. So what do you do when faced with this type of choice? You choose white. 

Or more specifically, I chose white. 

White friends, white crushes, white boy bands. I stopped speaking Cantonese abruptly.

I mean, I think the tenets of white supremacy would have reached its tentacles to me, even if I had stayed in HK (light skin is a prized Asian thing after all), but not in the same sucker-punch way that it did when I discovered I wasn’t enough at the age of 6 in Canada.

Being told to “go back to where you came from” by strangers, seeing the word “chink” etched onto the back of a bus seat, being fed and swallowing up so many stereotypes of who Asian women are (can’t drive, meek, a fetish for men). It left an indelible mark. 

I feel like it’s only in my 30’s now that I have truly acknowledged, honoured and accepted my culture. I wanted to be white subconsciously and consciously for so long, there are STILL things I’m unpacking. Monolids, feeling proud when someone said “wow, you have no accent”, all of it.

Two things that have helped me heal my internalized oppression as of late: 

1. The birth of my beautiful biracial son, who shares so many of my Asian features

2. The sense of belonging I’ve felt since finding a sisterhood within the previously very white slow fashion community, and the participation in #10X10representationmatters

While I wish I didn’t waste so much time trying to be anything but who I am, I am deeply grateful to these two life events, as well as just being a woman in her mid 30’s. I have less time to worry and wallow, and so I am reclaiming instead. There is a tinge of regret that I didn’t start this process much sooner, but identity takes time. I’m so glad I can see my culture for what it is now.

I am learning to take up space. I am learning to be whole.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 14/52. 'Jo' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 13.Liz

What are your intersections?

I am a Korean born, cisgender, female. I identify as Korean American, Asian American, Jewish, female, and a woman of color.

What is your background?

I am a transracial adoptee (meaning I am one race, and that family that raised me is of another race.) I was born in South Korea, and grew up in a white, Jewish family in Washington DC. My parents were raised with beliefs about “color blindness,” and as a kid, I never felt othered by my parents. I can’t say I felt that way when it came to interacting with folx outside of my immediate family. There were things said to me at synagogue, at school, at camp, many of which I never told my parents. Even as a child, I think I realized it was somehow easier to navigate this on my own because I didn’t think adults in my life would understand. This is a huge reason why I believe in the importance of discussing how multifaceted our identities are with my students, so they have the language and tools to communicate when/if they encounter bias or discrimination. As an adult engaged in equity and anti-racism work, discussing race is something I actively bring to conversations with my parents, family members, and friends. I grew up with a great deal of financial and educational privilege. I attended private school from PK-12th grade at the same institution, and then attended a private university for undergrad. After teaching for 2 years through AmeriCorps, I attended a public university for my M.Ed, and have worked and taught in public education since 2009. 

How do your intersections affect you?

I recognize that being an EAST Asian woman involved in equity and inclusion work has granted me enormous privileges. I have absolutely been discriminated against due to my race, gender, religion, and culture, but I know that I also benefit from all of those things depending on the space I occupy. I am privileged in being able to navigate spaces occupied by white people, and people of color. My intersections make me aware that I will rarely be labeled as, “Loud,” “Angry,” or “Aggressive,” and I am most likely viewed as a “safe activist” due to my identities. The “model minority myth” when it comes to East Asian groups and individuals is wrong and problematic, but I can’t deny that I sometimes benefit from the beliefs that East Asian people are quiet, hardworking, and intelligent. (However I still have to deal with the beliefs that East Asians are monolithic, obedient, conservative, and women are hyper sexualized.) Due to the assumptions folx make of me, I believe I have a responsibility to speak up about anti-racism, especially anti-Blackness. I am also aware that my identities do limit impact and limit the lens through which I see the world and interact with others, so I try to be mindful of “staying in my lane,” and determining when it’s appropriate and necessary for me to either step up, or step back. There are things I will never understand about others’ experiences, and I can’t pretend to understand. Rather, it’s my role and responsibility to listen and learn. 

My identity as a Jewish woman of color has also impacted my role and responsibility to educate folx about what it’s like to be Jewish when most people associate “Jewish” with someone who looks and sounds like Larry David. There’s a term I learned from being with Jews of color, which is “Ashkanormative,” and it means that the dominant culture in American Jewish spaces is assumed to be white, and Ashkenazi (Jews descended from the Holy Roman Empire, now associated with European Jews.) I’ve appreciated talking to my Jewish friends and family about my experiences in synagogues and Jewish communities when people make me feel “othered” because of my race, even though I grew up in these spaces. I want people to understand that “Jewish” is a religion, parts of it are ingrained in culture, but it is NOT an ethnicity or race. I also want to help folx recognize that anyone can be critical of the Israeli government and apartheid against the Palestinian people without being considered anti-semitic. (Also, anti-semitism is something I’ve worked with students, schools, and teachers to address.) 

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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 13/52. 'Liz' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 12. L

What are your intersections?

I am a Black, cis, heterosexual, Christian female born and raised in the South.

What is your background?

I was born in Norfolk, VA on the naval base, but was raised in rural southern Arkansas for the majority of my life. I lived with my mom the majority of the time, but spent a significant amount of time with my dad on the weekends and summers, who only lived 45 minutes away.

My mom was a hard worker, but we had significantly less in her home than I did with my father, who remarried fairly early and had two incomes. During the school week, I was poor (by no stretch of the definition) and on the weekends and summers, I was middle class for Black families in the south. Even though both of my parents asked my sister if we wanted to live with my dad, aside from my bratty teenage years, I never really had the desire to so. Being poor didn’t bother me all that much.

I loved how simple my life was with my mom. I loved how intuitive she was to our needs. And I loved how caring and generous she was with others who had even less than we did. She was constantly stretching everything we had to help others. She’s truly one of my heroes. One of my greatest inspirations.

How do your intersections affect you?

Despite the difference in my parents’ socioeconomic backgrounds, both of them were super intentional about immersing us in Black culture. I was never really taught to prioritize whiteness growing up. Even Santa Clause was Black in my house. I was definitely taught that I couldn’t be as “bad” behavioral-wise as white kids, but I was never taught that I needed to be twice as good to succeed. I think that is due in large part to my parents lack of experience outside of their geographical areas. Neither of them went to college. And my dad’s only real professional experience outside of Arkansas was in the US Navy. And even though race and white supremacy permeates everything, military rankings for the enlisted wasn’t really something that seemed less than objective to him. So neither of them had reason to know or understand (and still really don’t) the complex ways in which these systems have affected our community outside of slavery and Jim Crow.

College was a huge eye-opening experience for me, however. I was so much poorer than the majority of my classmates. My parents had no clue how to support college-aged me and I honestly didn’t know what to ask for. In a way, I felt like I outgrew them. They stopped being able to understand what my life was like and it was lonely.

I struggled navigating a majority white academic institution. For the longest time, I only befriended other Black students (many of whom are still great friends today), but even among them, I was always the person with the least resources and the smallest support system back home. I felt isolated and like no one really understood how being a first generation college student actually compounds one’s racial experience on college campuses. That being dark-skinned Black woman, poor, and from the more rural area of our state, I had to work extra hard to be taken as seriously as other Black students (who were already busting their butts to be seen on a majority white campus). That those experiences often led me to being tokenized by white people when I was ever actually given a seat at the table. (Exist, but don’t speak). That white people made a million assumptions about who I was, how I thought, what my interests were, etc. and any deviation from them just meant I would be denied more agency by those looking to benefit from a narrative they NEEDED me to have. It was exhausting.

I spent those years learning hard lessons about capitalism, wealth gaps, and what white supremacy actually looks like. I quickly learned that white supremacy paid no respect to political affiliation, income level, geography, age, or gender and that it could be perpetuated by anyone (academia being a prime example). Understanding those things, among others, is how I’ve become the unapologetic Black woman who talks about white supremacy today.

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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 12/52. 'L.' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 11. Khalea

What are your intersections?

I am a black cis female, I’ve often felt like race has been a deciding factor in my socioeconomic status; I view the world through these lenses. Growing up on the southside of St. Louis City, I was surrounded by the happiest black and brown people this world possesses. Our community is predominately black and low-income which allows us to spend hours outside goofing around with neighbors, playing everything from kickball to figuring out who runs the fastest. I grew up happy so depending on how you look at it, we either had everything or nothing at all. 

What is your background?

Surprisingly enough, I have 17 siblings and a mother with a “turn nothing into something” mentality, ensuring there’s enough to go around. As the rapper J.Cole once wrote, “I grew up in the city and though sometimes we had less, compared to some of my niggas down the block, man we were blessed.” My mother’s been living by this my entire life. So when our food stamps check comes in each month, we get all this food but with so many kids and children we share with in the community, it’s gone not even three weeks later.

Through persistence, my mother found a way to put all 14 of her kids through the Voluntary Interdistrict Choice Corporation (VICC). VICC is a desegregation program responsible for transferring city students to suburban school districts. So while I lived in the city of Saint Louis, I took a bus for 2-3 hours a day to Kirkwood, MO where I received my K-12 education. The people in the Kirkwood School District (KSD) are predominantly upper-middle class white folks. It was through this change of culture that I struggled with parts of my identity. 

How do your intersections affect you?

Learning in a predominately white suburb of St.Louis, I found myself trying to reshape my personhood, only to fit the standards of my white counterparts. It started in second grade, my first year in the district. I stood in line waiting for lunch and a classmate looked at me and said, “Khalea, [my friend] doesn’t like your skin color.” At just 7 years old, I was confused, this was the first time I felt explicitly discriminated against and otherized. 

After this encounter I tried to embed myself into white culture. As one of the the only black people in my second grade class, I wanted to fit in and not stand out. So when I’d hear my white counterparts use words like “awesome” and “totally” I tossed them into my vocabulary. The first time I used those two words, I felt completely humiliated and not myself. Still, I continued. 

Word choice wasn’t the only aspect of myself I altered. I changed my wardrobe, hairstyles and unconsciously began code switching. I yearned for things my family simply couldn’t afford and I struggled with finding comfort with it. “You’re always acting white,” said my sister. Hearing those words for the first time was challenging. To them I was becoming someone they didn’t know. Someone even I didn’t know. 

As I look back on these defining moments, I’m reminded of the people in this world who are victims of injustice while others know exactly what unearned privilege tastes like. I saw this first hand during my time in the Kirkwood School District and even more during Ferguson unrest. We had teachers who told students, “You can’t talk about this in my classroom,” but when it's happening right outside their doorstep how could they not? Thus, my social justice work began. 

If by leading conversations on race with students and/or staff of the entire district (that's one high school, two middle schools and five elementary schools) increased people's understanding of the role race, equity, and privilege played in our community, then so be it. If writing about white privilege and gun violence in my schools newspaper enhanced the voices of black people, then so be it. If it took re-establishing my schools Social Justice club for students to have a safe space to discuss white supremacy, the criminal justice system, black liberation, the Muslim Ban and more, then so be it. I was going to ensure that marginalized voices in my community felt and were heard. When Trump was elected and a 14-year-old cis male called her a nigger, I wanted her to feel heard. He was held accountable.

My devotion to social and racial justice work has existed for the benefit of others. I do this work not necessarily so that I can reap the benefits, but so someday someone else will. This commitment was recognized in April of 2017 by an Ivy League institution: Princeton University. I was awarded the Princeton Prize in Relations at a school assembly. As a part of winning, I received $1,000 and an all expenses paid trip to Princeton University to participate in a race symposium alongside winners from across the country. Caroline Benec taught me that “freedom at the expense of others is not freedom,” that “If I believed racism wouldn’t end, I’d be believing in racism” from Isaiah Blake and that “it’s not a person of colors responsibility to educate the oppressor,” from Eva Lewis. 

Since winning the award, I’ve become a committee member for the Princeton Prize in Race Relations Greater St.Louis region. I’m now in my second semester of college and will be attending the University of Missouri-Columbia in the fall, majoring in Political Science and minoring in English. It’s to none of friends surprise that I plan on becoming a lawyer, creating change through the legal system. My mission is for little brown second graders to look at their skin and see their uniqueness. So if someone tells them they don’t like their skin color they can say, “Well I do.” 

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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 11/52. 'Khalea' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 10.Saira

What are your intersections?

I identify as a female American, a Muslim-American, an Indian-American, and a Pakistani-American

What is your background?

My childhood was culturally confusing. I grew up in a small, predominantly white, middle class town in Ohio. I was a brown child of immigrants inside my house, but outside I thought I was white. There was no other way I knew how to be. There were no mirrors to reflect my ethnic identity (or really, any brown, immigrant household). I saw no representations of myself in any media (books, television, movies, signs/ads). And, perhaps because we didn't have a large Pakistani/Indian community, my parents did little to instill their home culture within my siblings and myself.

Yet, no matter how hard I tried to be just like everyone else, I was definitely different. I was not like them. I knew I didn’t completely fit. But I had no identity of my own to fill in the gaps.

Fast forward, my family moved to Houston, TX, a breeding ground for diversity, particularly amongst the immigrant community. Finally, I find others who shared my skin color, my ethnicity, my religion. For the first time in my life I found my mirrors, and thus began the process of piecing together my own identity.

How do your intersections affect you?

In order for intersections to affect you, you have to get to know them. When you’ve spent so much of your life denying who you are, this is no easy task. I have spent decades, of my life simply learning about who I am. I’ve researched my parents tribal communities and cities of birth. I’ve learned their ancient histories and it’s grounded me in a way I wish I’d had as a child. But learning is only the first part of the battle.

Before having kids, my husband and I spent some time living in Pakistan. I can’t describe the feeling of walking out of the airport and seeing people, as far as the eye can see, that look exactly like you. I was born and raised in a land far away, but these were my people.

This was home too.

Over the next few months I began to really understand my people. The values that existed in this new place. Pakistan and India, like many other parts of the world, value community above self. Which can put it at odds with American values that values the individual above all else. My journey of self discovery never centered on better or worse, but on understanding and valuing difference. I was finally learning to fill in my gaps.

This work will never be done. My people were a colonized people, and yet I live amongst the imperialists. There is so much to unpack. So much to shed.

And though I have a long road to go, I hope that at least now, I can give my children the tools early on to know who they are, and where they come from.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 10/52. 'Saira' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 9.Paige

What are your intersections?

I am African American of Carribean decent. Both of my parents were born and raised in Montego Bay, Jamaica. My ancestors are from Africa.

What is your background?

I was born and raised in the Bronx, NY. My family is middle class. I grew up in a family home or “brownstone” like building. It was 3 floors. My Nana and Uncle Vin lived on the main floor, my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin lived on the 2nd floor, and my Mom, Dad, my older brother and myself lived on the top floor. Being around family all the time made me a family girl to this day. The doors were always open. I could freely walk down and say hi to my relatives and eat dinner with whoever cooked something I wanted. I vividly remember having sleepovers with my Aunt and cousin or spending hours watching soaps and doing my Nana Pearl’s hair (may she rest in peace). 

I’m 28 and and can say I am living my wildest dreams as a female dancer of color and Scoliosis advocate. I am beyond grateful for their love and support. They sacrificed so much to do what I love. Spending money on me to go to the best Catholic school in the suburbs of NYC and paying for Ballet leo, shoes, and tights not to mention tuition for dance classes and many summer workshops. It is inspiring to know that they moved to NY from Jamaica in the mid 70’s for a better life and worked so hard to provide for their 2 kids. I dance for them everytime I step on stage.

A little backstory ... My Mom (Alexia) is very creative person. She modeled as a teenager and had offers to go to the UK to model but gave birth to my brother Sean. She entered a pageant in 1974 in Montego Bay, St. James Beauty Pageant. As an adult she has written and produced several off-Broadway plays. In 2019 she wrote a book “Memoir of Mom”, which is about my late grandmother Daphne Lee. Today she works in a hospital as a  Coordinating Manager at Bellevue Hospital. My Dad (Edward) is the Assistant Vice President at Bank of America. My Dad loved photography as a teenager/young adult and took many photos of my Mom during her early model days. He got his first camera at the age of 12. He has always been a music lover. He still has these beautiful vintage speakers from the 70’s and over a thousand records and CDs. I grew up listening to Reggae and Soca music as well as R&B and Jazz. From a young age I loved music. My Mom said I would fuss in the car until they turned on the radio. My Mom was the person to enroll me in my first Dance classes at the age of 4, and since then I have never stopped. My brother (Sean) who is significantly older than me is the black sheep of the family and still finding himself. I did not spend much time around him growing up. He is 15 years older than me, and moved out the house at 18. As I have gotten older I have kept in touch and tried to build our relationship. I love him dearly and he now has a beautiful daughter. It is ironic because his passion as a child was rapping and architecture. My parents brought two artist into the world. I guess it runs in our blood!

How do your intersections affect you?

My upbringing definitely made me who I am today. I am family girl. I love going home to NYC and reconnecting with my family. We still live in the same house (aside from my Nana) so it is super nostalgic when I go home.

The work ethic of my parents inspires me to push harder everyday. My journey is a unique one. I began dancing at the age of 4 and now 24 years later I am living my dream of being a professional dancer. I am

a Scoliosis advocate and started my own foundation The Paige Fraser Foundation, for dancers with or without disabilities. I have been fortunate to dance with 3 professional companies and done gigs for artists like Beyonce, INTEL, and Empire.

In 2017 I had my choreographic debut here in Chicago at Links Hall. I used my upbringing in a Jamaican household and my strong connection to Home to inspire my work. I always reflect on where I came from. I proudly embrace that I am from the Bronx. I am proof that you can be from an inner city and still accomplish your dreams with focus, hard work, and love/support!
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 09/52. 'Paige' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 8. Czarina

What are your intersections?

I am a 2nd generation Pinay-American, straight, cis-gendered woman. I was born and raised on Tongva land – Northeast LA.

What is your background?

Growing up Pinay meant growing up with a keen sense of duty to family. I had the privilege of a loving and supportive childhood home, but I was also very aware of how hard my parents - specifically my mom - worked to provide. She held down three nursing jobs to pay the steep tuition for the private Christian school my little brother and I attended. As a middle school student, I taught piano lessons as a way to earn money so I wouldn't be a burden. Then when my parents divorced, I became the parent for my younger brother. To this day I am jealous of my friends who were able to just be older siblings and never substitute parents. 

My parents moved to the States in their late teens, so they were very Americanized by the time they had me in their mid-20s. They did not teach me to speak Tagalog or Ilocano because they were so used to speaking in English. We only visited the Philippines once because my parents couldn't afford tickets for our family of four and because my mom was afraid of flying. Instead, my culture was passed down through food; through sitting around a noisy table full of relatives, one knee up, digging in "kamayan" style - no forks or knives - just hands. 
Around these tables, I learned that, "did you eat?" is synonymous with, "how are you?" 
I learned that I should study hard for a career in medicine. 
I learned that I should "stay out of the sun." 

How do your intersections affect you?

I am on a journey of discovering how I – a brown, Pinay, Asian-American, Christian, woman – can unpack years of internalized oppression on top of my own intergenerational trauma. My partner is Mexican-American and I know that the personal work I do will have a direct effect on our future bi-racial children. I don’t want colorism or the model-minority myth to be a part of their mentality. I don’t want racist stereotypes of Asians or Mexicans to harm their self-worth. I want them to feel like one whole and not two halves. Loved fully. 

I teach elementary music at a private Christian school very similar to the one I grew up in. I remember how hard my family struggled to keep me at the private school. I know I have students facing similar situations. I am in a distinct position to advocate for my students of color. As an educator of color, I want to break the narrative that the realm of education is for white academics. I use the medium of music to introduce my students to social/racial justice and to build bridges of connection. As a follower of Jesus, I teach my students that being a Christian means having an open heart for everyone, and that love is a word of action. 

And for the record, I never “stay out of the sun.”

More on “How I can unpack years of internalized oppression on top of my intergenerational trauma”

The Philippines is a country with a painful history of over 500 years of colonization and imperialism from Spain and the United States. Because of this, whiteness (as a culture and literally) is often seen as a goal.

Colorism is a huge issue throughout Asia, and the Philippines is a great example of how it manifests through a lack of representation of darker skin tones in media, the market for whitening soaps and creams, and in how individuals with darker skin-tones are treated. I am a darker skin-toned Pinay, and I do not have the coveted straight, slick hair that many Asians do. When I was a kid, my family would jokingly call me "dark one" "extra toasted" and "burnt." A boy I dated in high school told me that I looked better with straightened hair than my natural curls, but then a boy I dated in college exoticized my islander looks. Both made me feel objectified. It wasn't until my 20's that I learned to truly embrace my features and the beautiful heritage behind them. Now that I've learned more about my own history as a Pinay-American, and the history of the country I call home, I know that colorism is anti-blackness and therefore racist. Embracing and loving my brown skin (while also spending the privilege I carry as a non-Black POC) is a form of resistance.

In addition to racist colorism, the model-minority myth is another tool of white supremacy that I am trying hard to dismantle. One of the biggest issues I have with this myth is the false expectation that Asians do not rock the boat. Because of colonization, Pilipinx are master assimilators so I grew up not knowing the power of my own voice or the power of my own people. But after learning of people like Gabriela Silang - the first Filipina woman revolutionary leader who fought for independence from Spain or Larry Itliong - a farm worker who, with other Filipino farmers, began the Delano Grape Strike and pushed for workers rights in California, I know the myth of the quiet, compliant Asian is the farthest from the truth. As Faith Santilla writes, "Filipinas are no strangers to wielding our own power."
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 08/52. 'Czarina' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 7. Jasmine

What are your intersections?

I'm a 2nd generation Latina (Puerto Rican and Mexican). I am a heterosexual female, and have a deep connection with my faith. Up until now, I never really identified as Mexican, because I was raised by my Puerto Rican mom. Growing up there were these undertones of why I shouldn't acknowledge being Mexican, both from white spaces, but also by being mostly around other Puerto Ricans. I am now on a journey to connecting with my Mexican roots, and finding beauty in being both Puerto Rican and Mexican.

What is your background?

I grew up with my mom, and brother. My dad left us before I was born. Not having a father in the home was "my normal" and I didn't fully understand the greater impact of abandonment until later in life. My childhood consisted of a mom that worked a lot ( a minimum of 2 jobs at one time) to provide for us. I recall her greatest desire was to get us out of the south-west side of Chicago, and into the suburbs for better schools. I felt this pressure to get all A's so that I could become "successful", and I studied my butt off, but wasn't challenged intellectually beyond my standard classes. I have strong memories of teachers telling me what I wasn't good at, but very few around the things I was good at. I always had this feeling of never being smart enough...or that I’m just not good enough in general. It's now where I'm unpacking my experiences and putting them into words.

How do your intersections affect you?

I'm still learning "the words" around my experiences as a Latina who doesn't speak Spanish fluently. I've never really fit in white spaces, while at the same time not fitting in Latinx spaces. This constant feeling of not belonging led me further into this belief that I have to rise above by my own means, and prove to everyone that I'm worthy. But worthy of what exactly?!? It's now where I've begun an inner healing journey to find truth in my identity. The more I'm getting healed, the more I've found belonging in myself, just the way I am.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 07/52. 'Jasmine' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 6. Diamond Pt. 2

What is intersex/what does it mean?

Intersex folks are born with variations in chromosomes, genes, or genitals. According to Amerikkan health guidelines, we do not "fit" the specification of male or female. I was born with a smaller uterus, and an extra chromosome that releases a large amount of testosterone. Unfortunately the medical system does not see black bodies as human, so I illegally had a surgery at birth, which led to internal shame and external physical differences.

What are intersections between binary and intersex people?

Depending on how intersex folks choose to identify, this can vary. For me, I am femme presenting because I do not identify or adhere to binary. This is limiting in presentation, because I am seen as a woman.

How do I navigate being intersex and black/asian?

There is not a lot of awareness or room to grow in this area, but like every facet of my life, I make the space for my differences and honor myself. Based on my appearance, I've been asked if I'm a transwoman. This used to offend me- which is a horrible internalized microaggression that I had to check some years back. Black transwomen are the foundation for black and gay liberation. Without them, many of us could not exist. In my case, my reply is simple. I am a femme intersex being. I'm nor one or the other. I'm not a part of a harmful, white construct that limits black and brown bodies from existing. There is a lot of work to be done in the black and asian community because of the backlash and stigmas around intersex. We just aren't seen. And that is the worst feeling...to be buried by hundreds of years of oppression, along with layers of humanity that have been stripped from me.

Medical difficulty or stigmas surrounding being intersex?

It's worse than one would think. Many intersex babies are put into the binary, or have surgeries to "make them a gender" at birth. This is to say...you cannot live or exist in this world unless you pick one. You cannot make someone something they are not. Dehumanization to the core, the UK recently passed laws to "protect" intersex babies, but those laws have no impact here. Like other intersex folks, I grew up with medical issues but also always felt that something "wasn't right." I have identified as a transman, a queer woman, and now I can finally find solace in saying I am a queer intersex femme.

Raising children as a black intersex person

This is still a work in progress. Right now, I have a ten year old who told me she likes girls, and a 5 month old baby. I am very open with my ten year old about identity and sexuality. The outside stigma is draining, however. Amerikka sees me as a woman. So, there are societal "norms" placed upon how I should parent and how to present myself. I am none of those norms. I'm black, and NOT a woman. People like to place folks in the binary which is abuse. I'm a parent, and I exist for myself and my children. Nobody else. In turn, this is a lot of labor I am still working through. You've got to understand- everything in this country is a system NOT created for black non binary bodies. My child goes to school, takes in all of this harmful antiblack antiqueer narrative every day. So, it is a constant teaching and undoing. I refuse to have my children grow up not seeing me or themselves.

Sexual identity and intersection of intersex folks/my own experience.

My sexual identity has been hard in terms of accepting myself and the standards my previous partners have placed on me. In every situation, I've had antiblack partners or been fetishized for my physical body. My partner currently, is a queer asian cis male. We had open dialogue before embarking on any physical activity and I was given space to state my needs as well as my identity. Although he never heard of it, he did the work. And that's how it should be. Intersex folks deserve validation and love. To be black/asian and intersex simply means that I have a lot of layers that make me beautiful. Those layers don't need to be ripped away, so I hold onto my beauty: my blackness, my Japanese heritage AND my Intersex identity with my life.
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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 06/52. 'Diamond - part 2' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 5 . Diamond Pt. 1

What are your intersections?

I am a black/Japanese femme, who identifies as queer. I also identify as being Intersex.

What is your background growing up?

I grew up in a predominately white neighborhood, what would be considered "middle class." Unfortunately my upbringing lacked resources for my identity, as well as my existence itself. Getting through schooling was difficult because of white supremacy and systemic oppression. None of these systems, this world itself- cares about black women or femmes. And it's sad that I have to raise my children and let them know those truths. But without them, our children get disposed by this system just like I did.

How do your intersections affect you?

Years ago, I found out that I am half Japanese. I grew up in a black household, so navigating this newfound sector of my life has been eye opening and difficult. Based on my findings, my family originated out of Hokkaido, Japan. I'm still looking into this, but black-asians struggle with this identity because of colorism. I'm not "asian enough" because my skin is brown. And even though I coincidentally speak Japanese and Korean fluently, the judgement is still there. I was in a relationship (and very lost) when I made this realization, as well as navigating blackness. I didn't become self aware of my identity until around that time- which created some major life changes. I realized just how disposable my existence was, and how it affected me as a person. Anti blackness is rampant and real. In every single non-white/non-black individual there are levels of anti blackness and colorism that exist. If nbpoc aren't addressing this daily, it creates toxic behavior and culture. That, currently is the biggest change I'm having to make. Protecting my blackness and loving myself means I have to separate myself from people who are not allies- or those who do not consider my existence and how systemic oppression is at work. It is crucial for black bodies to create their own narratives within these walls. Your mind is absolute freedom, because it does not exist anywhere else.

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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 05/52. 'Diamond' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 4 . Al Kelly

What are your intersections?

I am multiracial. My mama is black and Native American (mostly Cherokee). My father is Irish, German, and Swiss.

What is your background growing up?

I was raised by my mama who worked EXTREMELY hard to make sure I had a great education and was exposed to lots of different types of people and ways of life. She made sure I had everything I needed but I do remember moments of financial struggle for my mom. She definitely shielded me from a great deal, but I know it was hard working full time and raising me on her own. In the end, I did get a wonderful education so hopefully she feels it was worth it! 

Because I grew up in such diversity, it made things slightly less confusing for me growing up as a multiethnic child. There was still a great deal of tension within me though. While I definitely look like a person of color, my skin and hair texture create ambiguity. And with that ambiguity, comes privilege. I was permitted into white spaces my black friends couldn’t get into and fit into black spaces my white friends never dared enter. On the other hand, I didn’t completely  “fit in” on either side. I had black friends who called me “whitewashed” and white friends who would exoticize me and say I was smart BECAUSE I was mixed (as if the “whiteness” is what made me so). Although both groups ostensibly “accepted” me, they each had ways of making me feel like an outsider so I quickly learned to adapt to my environments. I figured out how to be me but a version of me that fit into different groups. Code switching, essentially! It’s pretty much a super power and anyone with any intersectionality has it. You weave in and out of different groups but still maintain your “you-ness”. 

How do your intersections affect you?

As I’ve gotten older, I have truly embraced all that I am. It was definitely a long journey. The truth is we are all layered (like an onion! Shrek gets it). The world tells us we have to fit into certain categories in order to make sense of things. It’s easier to say “all people of this group are this way” because it saves time. But we are nuanced and it is to our own detriment that we silence part of ourselves to garner favor and love. I don’t have the privilege of hiding my multiplicity because it is written on my skin. But since I’ve embraced it, it has made me a more empathetic and understanding human. Surprisingly, it’s given me a more firm foundation. There is no part of my heritage that I shy away from which allows me to understand myself better and in turn makes me more capable of relating to others. Poetry is what really allowed me to dive into all the conflicting feelings I had about being a mixie. It gave me a space to say all that I wanted without shame. It has been truly freeing and catharsis is a powerfully addictive drug.

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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 04/52. 'Alex' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 3 . Gabby

What are your intersections? 

I am a 3rd gen (on my Dad’s side) & 4th gen (on my Mom’s side) Japanese American, straight, cis-gender identifying female.                                                                                                                                         

What is your background growing up?

I grew up in a middle-class, conservative, Christian household & attended Christian school & church my whole life. Growing up we never talked about our areas of privilege. Reflecting on it now, I think my parents bought into the model minority myth & had enough socioeconomic privilege to turn a blind eye to injustices in our country. Another layer of my cultural background is that both sets of my grandparents (except 1 grandma who immigrated later) were in Japanese internment camps during WW2. We never talk about it, but I’ve witnessed the negative impacts of their experience through how much my family has lost Japanese tradition & was forced to assimilate to white American norms. For example, my Mom’s parents who spoke Japanese growing up never taught my Mom Japanese and my parents didn’t teach me.

How do your intersections affect you?

I was a junior in college when I started to critically think about my intersections and how they’ve impacted me. I stayed away from anything that could cause conflict (Enneagram 9), but luckily my boyfriend started challenging me to examine my belief system & I started interning for my college’s Center for Justice. This is where I began a long journey of re-educating myself on SJ issues and how they’ve impacted me & other marginalized communities. I realized how much shame/internalized racism & sexim I carried for my ethnic & gender identity. I also realized how white supremacy and patriarchy are deeply ingrained in white evangelical church and Christianity today. This propelled me even further into deconstructing my faith/identities. Having to confront evangelical Christianity and examine its roots of white supremacy and patriarchy made me feel angry, alone, and frustrated. The very place that worships someone who spoke about restoration, justice, and equality, yet uses their power to keep reinforcing systems of oppression. I felt alone because when I came with my thoughts I was dismissed with things like, “but the bible says...”, “The world is sending us crazy messages”, or “Men & women just have different God ordained roles”. Luckily now I’ve have a good community of people who are also on the same journey of deconstruction as I am and are ok with asking the hard questions.  

Thoughts on the intersection ethnicity and justice

 When I began my journey of examining my intersections I started to educate myself about marginalized communities & Japanese history in America. I visited Manzanar (a Japanese internment camp, now musuem), the Japanese American Museum in LA, and went on a Civil Rights Pilgrimage through the South to study the CR Movement. During these trips I learned about people such as Yuri Kochiyama, who stood in solidarity with black leaders in the CR movement and fought for justice for Japanese and African Americans. After these trips I left heavy hearted but also inspired to create awareness about SJ. Whether that be through conversing with friends, bringing awareness on my social media, voting, or learning from social justice POC advocates. I still have a lot to learn but I’m here for the process. 

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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression. Space to tell your story. Space to listen. Every Friday of 2019. // Week 03/52. 'Gabby' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 2 . Miya

What are your intersections?

I am a half Japanese, half white (American) cishet woman. I am aware of my privilege as a (half) white cishet person in our current society and political climate. I am working on unpacking this privilege through education. I downloaded the FREE Me and My White Supremacy book and am currently working through it! (I have JUST started this book so I can’t say much about it quite yet)

What is your background growing up?

I was raised by a single Japanese mother in America. We were considered a “low-income” household in a fairly “low-income” city in Ohio. This affected my education since opportunities were slim and most of my high school was spent trying to just get out of my town and attend college. I was privileged with the opportunity to take college course credits, which allotted me time in college to figure out how to navigate higher education. My high school did not prepare me for college and I am sure many can relate to this. This caused me to struggle in college and even lead to my first experiences with therapy. While therapy hasn’t worked for me quite yet, I know that it is a privilege to be going in the first place! I am also a sexual assault survivor and most of it happened during my childhood. I used school as a focus coping mechanism because I was so young and didn’t understand my trauma. Because of this, I was able to leave my old town (literally climb up the economic ladder) and attend college. 

How do your intersections affect you?

This question was a little difficult to answer only because I am still in the learning process on what intersectionality entails, especially in the feminist community. I first learned this term in a Comparative Studies course at my university and I’m continuing to learn through activists (many through Instagram). I’m a senior in college now and I’m still trying to work through my identity. One thing I did learn the hard way was that universities may be diverse racially (barely but it’s there) but it’s very rare to see income diversity in colleges! I will say that, as a sexual assault survivor, college did help me find my voice thanks to the community of survivors on campus. It helped me tell my story and show those currently going through it see that healing IS possible at any time in your life. All in all, my intersections made me both privileged and marginalized. As I get closer to graduating college, I find myself looking for jobs that align with my identity. I am in Public Health and I would love to tackle the issue of health disparity in the U.S. My dream is to work in social justice and use my privilege and knowledge to help other marginalized groups gain the resources they need to succeed, even if that means giving up some of my own. 

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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression.  Space to tell your story.  Space to listen.  Every Friday of 2019. // Week 02/52. 'Miya' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper

Week 1 . Me

What are your intersections?

I am Chinese and am a cisgender female

What is your background growing up?

My parents immigrated to the States from Hong Kong in their 20's - both college graduates. I was born in Oakland, California, and grew up in a middle class neighborhood called San Leandro in the Bay.   And I was homeschooled or had independent studies with a public school all of my grade school and high school education.  Another big piece of my up bringing was being raised in an Evangelical Christian conservative household where I was exposed to an all Asian christian community and than an almost all white christian community post-highschool.  I feel like these are all such choppy pieces of my life, but they all work work together in shaping who I am today for better or worse.

How do your intersections affect you?

It's complicated, because it's hard to separate out one piece to another.  Something I've been thinking about recently is the undertone of growing up female and non-white.  Just in being a girl, there are SO many things that influence how I see myself.  Like in the church or going to class or pretty much anywhere I look: people in power/leadership are white cis men.  That tells my little mind that there is something inherent in me that makes me less qualified to have positions of leadership or power.

For example, I've played guitar since freshman year of high school.  But I had no examples of women from anywhere whether its personally or in media that were good at guitar.  Of course I'm sure there are SO many...but I wasn't exposed to any.  So I believed (subconsciously) that women are just not as good as men at playing guitar!  Therefore, I didn't practice as much and push myself.  Then, in a way, it did become true for me...I didn't excel at guitar.  Piano, on the other hand, I had very many examples of excellent female pianists, and I excelled in it.  So far as to getting my piano performance degree.

So on top of being female, I have the message coming in from every direction that to be truly beautiful, American, and liked, you have to be white.  And last year, with #TWmemorymondays, I explored the ways in which I heard this message.  I watched how people treat my parents differently for having accents.  I also saw my parents wanting my sister and I to assimilate the "best" way possible, because they knew and I knew: you will get the farthest in life in American by embodying whiteness.  Because it's a white supremacist society - white people are threatened by foreigness and black/brown bodies.  The white supremacist society rewards those who uphold whiteness - even if you will never be seen as equal or deserving to call this country your own.

All of it trickles down to now, where there is embodied shame of not being white...because that message doesn't disappear once you acknowledge it.  I still see that my ethnicity is usually ignored and disregarded in white spaces - that being because white people do not know how to honor black/brown culture and they don't know how to listen.  So my dream for this series is to create space for us all to listen and learn.  And also to give voice for those who don't have that sacred space to be heard.

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#TWintersectionalfridays: Space to explore intersections of identity and systems of oppression.  Space to tell your story.  Space to listen.  Every Friday of 2019. // Week 01/52. 'First' / 8x8 in. / mixed media on paper