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Tiffany Wong

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Memory 34

August 20, 2018 Tiffany Wong
34.jpg

Today is week 34 of #TWmemorymondays, and I have a special contributer today...my dear friend @darbimasters! We were chatting the other day, and she shared this memory to me that really moved her. It really resonated with me, and I hope with you too! This is what Darbi wrote:

"Ever since I can remember I've been treated a very certain way by men--cautiously. I have memories of awkwardly talking in superficial circles with men because it was assumed that deeper conversation made them (or me) susceptible to falling in love. Memories of men being stoic and unable to show they cared for my well being because it could potentially mean there was a hidden agenda.

But, a few years back, two very influential men in my life treated me... differently. They treated me with actual respect. These men were my coworkers. They never distanced themselves from me because they feared I'd ruin their marriages. Nor did they ever backed out of relationship with me afraid that "something" might happen.

They affirmed me as a human, an individual, a women who was intelligent and strong without fear that it would be interpreted as some sexual innuendo. It felt freeing. For the first time I can remember, men treated me with the dignity that every person deserves to receive.

And even so, even with this being such a positive experience that I will forever be grateful for, I still remember being warned by a women who worked with all three of us that: I needed to be careful with how close I was to my married male coworkers. I silently took her reproach out of embarrassment.

As I think back all those years ago, I wish I could have been bold enough to speak up and tell her what a positive experience it was for me to be known as a human by my coworkers. To be respected and to respect them in return. I mourn for all those years I remained silent believing it was good to be treated with caution and respectable to be held at arms length."

Chances are that you are familiar with this dynamic. Hear about my thoughts about it via instastiries.

Thank you, Darbi!!!!!

.....
#TWmemorymondays: A painting inspired by a memory every Monday of 2018. Connecting abstract art to real life. Week 34/53. 'Empower' / 8x8 in / mixed media on paper

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