Happy long weekend! Today is week 36 of #TWmemorymondays. I mentioned this memory in passing awhile back, but I thought to dedicate a full memory Monday for it.
For most of my young adult life I've worn my signature cat eye or winged eyeliner. If you don't know what that is, it's a graphic black eyeliner that comes to a point beyond your eyelash line. And in college I felt like I got alot of attention for it for some reason. This memory is one of many others just like it.
In college, I was getting lunch at the cafeteria, and a acquaintance came up to me. A girl that I probably met once and have seen around alot (it was a small school) came up to me. And she said "I love your eyeliner! It looks SO good on you! I wish I could pull it off. You're Asian eyes shape really goes with it." As she makes a slant eye motion.
So I replied and said "thank you."
I felt kind of flattered that she went out of her way to give me a compliment, but I also felt a bit insulted and demeaned.
Back then I didn't have language or the tools to know what was happening. But now I can break it down!
The person who would say these kind of things to me (usually white female/male - yes men has made this comment to me) would notice something they liked about my makeup. They also saw that I was Asian simultaneously, and made an unconscious mental note about a caricature feature of all asians: they have slanty eyes. Then, they couldn't separate these two things from each other - so in delivering a compliment about my makeup, they can't help but also bring in my race.
It's so insulting to my culture and to me when the Asian culture is distilled to these attributes - especially knowing how almond shapes eyes have been used to oppress and make fun of Asians historically in America.
With good intentions, ignorance/racism reigns yet again. I've said and written this a million times, but systematic oppression is best protected by "good hearts." I think there is always room to grow and to even make mistakes, but brushing it under the rug because their intentions are good is so damaging.
In this particular situation about my eyeliner, what should have been said is: "I like your eyeliner!" Period!
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#TWmemorymondays: A painting inspired by a memory every Monday of 2018. Connecting abstract art to real life. Week 36/53. 'Cateye' / 8x8 in / mixed media on paper