Word of the month : Trust
Trust. Most importantly - trusting my read on my own body and my capacity. I’ve been seeing the fruit of my labor and healing through really trusting in my process. For a huge portion of this pandemic, I’ve felt incredibly sensitive and even fearful when I would get activated whether it was alittle or alot. The fear would come from a place where I wasn’t sure if I had enough resources within and outside of me to come back to a feeling of safety in my body. The fear that I would just continually spiral out. Now, I’ve grown to start trusting that even when things feel scary (and when I’m outside of my window of tolerance - for my nervous system / trauma folks) I will eventually settle back to feeling steady and at home in my body. This month, I definitely been activated and driven way outside of my window of tolerance, and I trusted that if I ride the wave - allowing myself to feel - I will eventually will come back to myself. And I did!
I finally made it back to the Bay Area:
I haven’t seen my family and friends in the Bay since November 2019! It was so good to be back in the California sun and spending time with family/friends for a bit over 2 weeks. I was a bit anxious before the trip about how the transition from being alone and seeing just a few friends to being around people all the time - AND actually doing things. Thankfully I adjusted better than I thought. My energy levels definitely got low especially near the end, but I found ways to keep grounded. One of those ways was going on nature hikes and outings with my parents and spending time in the backyard. In this month’s blog, I’ll be mostly reflecting back on this trip. Hope you enjoy!
tafoni sandstone formation:
My favorite hike was in the El Corte de Madera Creek Preserve (in Redwood City) to this sandstone formation. The hike was really easy, shaded, and so beautiful. There were barely any people not the trail. We took this outing on my first full day in the bay, which was such a great way to start the trip. If you’re in the area, I highly recommend hiking this trail to the formation.
book:
Yolk by H.k. Choi
I picked up these two books right before my trip to the Bay, and I’m happy I did! Yolk is a young adult novel about two sisters in NYC. I’m only midway through, but IT’S SO GOOD. I already know I’m going to be suggesting this to everyone!
black feminist lessons from marine mammals by Alexis Pauline Gumbs
I’ve only just began this book, but I know I will gain so much energy, inspiration, and wisdom form it. This books from the emergent strategy series. If Emergent Strategy by Adrienne Maree Brown resonated with you, this book is right up your alley.
my parents backyard:
As I mentioned, one of the ways that helped me stay grounded when I did when I was at my parents’ house was getting alone time in their backyard while soaking up the sun. It also was fun for me to see what my parents were growing in the backyard. They have a beautiful fig tree (as seen in this photo), mulberry bush, gooseberries, green onions, herbs, aloe, and other plants. My mom said she loves going into the backyard every morning checking up on the plants and tending to them. Something else we talked alot about was how much she enjoys hanging clothes to dry outside. Made me want to have that one day too. And here’s a picture of me in the backyard reading with the cutest corgi butt (my parents were dog sitting for a friend.)
Foooood:
The first night my parents made me the yummiest fresh crab and rice cakes. I had alot of amazing home cooked meals. I’m really thankful to be taught how to savor and enjoy food that was made with so much care and love. Here’s a few food highlights.
One house bakery
On one of our outings, my parents brought me to Benecia where we walked along the water and had THE BEST bakery goods at the One House Bakery. The only regret we had were not getting more things. Pictured below is the yummiest savory scone and a ham, soft cheese, and butter baguette sandwich. The baguette was magical. We also enjoyed the raspberry passion fruit tart!
Salt and Straw
If you know then you know. Omg so good. That top flavor is rhubarb crumble with toasted anise. DIVINE.
Din Ding dumpling house
Other than my mom’s home cooked meal, the best meal we had was at Din Ding Dumpling House in Union City! OMG the soup dumplings were incredible. And the beef noodle soup was to die for! Everything is made in house and you can really tell the artistry that went into the food. I’m definitely going back the next time I’m in California.
francis ford cappola winery
I had a beautiful dinner with two dear friends of mine at this winery. The view and weather was so idealistic and the rack of lamb I had was amazing. After dinner we had a stroll in the vineyard - it was one of my highlights of the trip for sure.
I don’t have a photo, but my parents and I had INCREDIBLE ramen at Ramen Nagi. If you’re in the Palo Alto area, you need to go there.
Childhood goodies:
My dad dug these out from the attic for me! It was fun flipping through drawings I haven’t seen in so many years. Haha I love the early 20’s vibe of the drawing!
being back:
Being back in the bay has reminded me alot of things. 1) To cherish time with my family. 2) To keep on healing so that I can have capacity to advocate for what I believe in - which is the BIPOC community and being actively anti white supremacy internally and externally. 3) How powerful inner child work is (my inner teenager was really asking for attention and nurturing when I was in my childhood home). 4) I’m on a path that I’m so grateful for and proud of.
I had the honor to be interviewed by Elyse Preston for the Soulful Abundance Festival! It was such an enjoyable conversation about where I’m at right now, art, healing, ancestors, and all the things I’m passionate about. The festival is happening right now! If you would like to tune in, it’s free to sign up!
art at Backlot Coffee:
Right before I left for California, with the help with some friends I installed some art at Backlot Coffee in Old Irving Park. It was so fun to see my pieces in a new space. I sold a few pieces, but I still have some available for purchase. If you are interested, please email me and I’ll let you know what’s still available. I’m taking the installation down tomorrow (June 4) - so unfortunately it’s too late for folks to see my art in the space.
settling back in chicago:
I’ve been back for a full day now, and it feels really good to return to my studio apartment. It will probably take a few more days to catch up on rest and get back into my routines. I’m really thankful to have finally made it back to see my family and friends int he bay! I have renewed creative energy - can’t wait to share more of my ideas with you all. ALSO LOOK AT THIS MAGICAL TREE in my neighborhood park. This photo is completely unedited. I’m really looking forward to enjoying the summer here!
take care of yourself:
Thank you for tuning in! Your support means so much to me. I’m going to be working on a new art workshop offering this month as well as creating a new art collection. More about that next time!