New space new jobs:
September was a monumental month for me. I moved one story up in my building and am fully functioning in a a life that has lots of movement and much more social interaction than I’ve had since the beginning of the pandemic. Lots to process! Thankful for this time where I get to catch up you up on life while processing things for myself. As there have been more things on my schedule, I’m thankful for moments like captured in this photo: a quiet evening to myself with pink clouds against a blue sky outside of my kitchen window. Trying to enjoy the big and small celebrations in life.
I moved!:
Since March of 2020 I have been extremely sensitive to any (ANY) noise my upstairs neighbor made. Every foot step triggered my nervous system. I was unfortunately highly attuned to their moving and sleeping patterns…and their energy in general. It was horrible! I wasn’t doing well mentally - so I developed (unbeknownst to them) this torturous relationship with them. I had to wear ear plugs and noice canceling head phones all day, which was very uncomfortable. I felt trapped. As my anxiety got better, the noise would be alittle less irritating and triggering. But over all, I was distressed about it ALL the time. So when a friend said they saw an upstairs apartment open up, I jumped on it. And it worked out!! I was able to move one floor up which was also the top floor of my building.
The process of packing was surprisingly soothing for me. It brought up alot of feelings and memories, because I combed through my things and got rid of alot of it. Felt so good!
So actually moving we really smoothly! It feels really good to not have too many belongings - so having a clean slate was really refreshing. Upstairs has exactly the same layout. Putting things away and making changes I’ve been wanting was just so satisfying.
Now that I’ve been in the new apartment for a month now, I have to say my mental health and sense of peace has unbelievable. The peace and quiet I’ve been enjoying has been bliss - I don’t want to take it for granted. Maybe next month I’ll upload some photos of my new place!
Three workshops in a week:
A few months ago, I couldn’t have imagined leading in person workshops. I’m so thankful for the capacity to lead workshops as well as the opportunities to do so. In a span of a week, I taught my monthly BIPOC creative gathering Create Together, taught an in person watercolor workshop at Guild Row, and an in person BIPOC creative workshop for Soul Service. Create Together was extra tender this past session, and I feel confident that this offering is both what I have capacity for and that it resonates with folks. The watercolor workshop at Guild Row was also very sweet - everyone was so eager to learn and connect. It was nice to access the skills I had dormant for awhile. Lastly, Soul Service fed my soul. We were outside in a beautiful garden and the group was so ready to let their inner children be nourished. It was such an honor to be there! I felt so confirmed that this work is what I was meant to do.
books:
Six crimson cranes by elizabeth lim
I listened to this book as I was packing and unpacking. It really hit the spot! The perfect mixture of fantasy, humor, suspense, and chinese traditions. I love when a book fits the setting and timing of my life.
My year abroad by chang-rae Lee
I just started this book a few days ago, and I’m intrigued. I’ll report back in a month!
all the cuddles:
As you probably know, I’m a pet auntie to these three! I got to spend some sweet time with my friends’ pets this month. Morri the cat on the left slept on me as I led a workshop one day. And I got lots of bedtime cuddles from Bear (the dog) and Gus (the kitten) another night. Thankful for all the love!
a break from the city:
My partner and I went to the burbs to celebrate my dear friend’s pre wedding Indian ceremony. Before we arrived, we took a quick stroll in a near by park, and this is what we saw. It was so beautiful! And the nalagu was really touching. I love celebrating love! So happy to see my friends being blessed by family and friends. It was also really special that I got to experience new things with my partner - being that we have spent the majority of our relationship in quarantine.
kombucha:
It’s been many years since I’ve made kombucha! A friend gave me a scoby, and I started my first batch. It turned out amazing thankfully! I bottled it up and added some berry puree - and I’m really happy how it turned out. I’m thinking my next batch will be basil blackberry.
small joys:
I bought myself a camping chair and have been perching it in my back stairway. When I’m home in the mornings, I have my coffee and journal outside. It’s simple, but this new option makes me so happy. Trying to soak in as much as the warmer mornings and evenings before Chicago winter hits.
work work work:
I have many jobs. I run my own workshops, teach workshops for Univ. of Chicago (The Village), work front of house at Guild Row, run my etsy shop, and am a project based contractor at an AllKinds art studio.
Ever since thawing from pandemic depression, I have been experimenting on how can I thrive in my life emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially. I took on a job as front of house at Guild Row, and it really helped my mental health. I didn’t have to spend emotional energy like I do in holding space in my workshops - because, at least for now, I don’t have the capacity to do that all the time. But the downside is that the compensation cannot sustain my needs. I also started being a fabricator at AllKinds art studio, and while it is amazing to be working with my hands around other artists - it is clear the artists aren’t being accurately compensated for their skills and time.
Living under capitalism is crushing. I feel more and more strongly I want to figure out how to live with financial ease WHILE being able to take care of my well-being and not having my labor exploited. I already know, when I figure it out, society will want to punish me. Because when we can figure it out, those who profit from capitalism will be shaking in their boots.
When I talk about BIPOC liberation, this piece is a HUGE piece. I don’t want to grind until my health goes out just to make my bills, because when I have poor health and no energy - how can I invest in my community? How can I heal? How can I focus on dismantling this oppressive system? How can I thrive? I know that all those things can happen amongst great hardships, but resiliency isn’t cause for celebration. So while taking responsibility of the privileges I embody, I’m learning alot - in real life - how to be intentional about my finances and labor. Stay tuned.
Talking about exploitation, this docuseries about LulaRoe goes into how MLM’s and pyramid schemes work. Essentially - how cults work. I’m fascinated by learning about cults of all kinds, because they are everywhere. I have seen how the church has adopted the same techniques as traditional cults. This docuseries spells out how enticing community and exclusivity can be, but in the end - the top people are the ones who profit. And everyone else who wants a slice of success pays the price. ALL - I mean EVERY - MLM is based on exploitation. Watching this series reminded me that I’m not above it. Even in this exposing documentary, I felt myself being sucked into how enticing it can be. Oh and not to mention how much racism exists in these cults. Exploitation will never exclude good ol racism.
upcoming workshops:
Meditative workshop at guild row (in person):
I’m teaching another watercolor workshop at Guild Row! It will be on October 9 at 11:00 am. REGISTER HERE!
Create together
We will be virtually gathering on October 21 at 7:00 CST. For more info and to register visit my website!
Thank you:
I appreciate your support so much. It makes a HUGE difference for me. If you know of anyone else who would want to support me in my art and work, please invite them to support me here on Patreon! <3