Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting me here on Patreon and for reading this!
August was my birthday month! I turned 29! I love milestones like birthdays and new years, because it causes me to pause and take in what the past chapter has been like. This past year has been incredibly uncomfortable and incredibly fulfilling. MY DREAM. For the first time, I feel like I'm finding my voice - in its honesty and not based on other people. There is a part of me that cares what people think, but I think that I'm learning how to be ok with caring to connect with people - however not letting other people's expectation or disapproval of me to dictate my true north. I am VERY excited to close the chapter to my 20's!
I am thankful to have the opportunity to cultivate my thoughts about life including art, and you are part of my story. So I thank you!
true self love
I have been obsessed with thinking and talking about true self love. True self love: accepting your core identity that has infinite worth - worthy of love and to be loved. True self love is unconditional. True self love extends out, because it doesn't exist out of scarcity. True self love is compassionate and forgiving. True self love doesn't confuse growth/motivation with constant self criticism. True self love can give love and empathy with no strings attached. True self love knows that self indulgence is emotional numbing and is not helpful. True self love knows when the word "health" is used to self harm. True self love is open and vulnerable. True self love cannot hold hate/oppression of others. True self love is political. True self love speaks up. True self love strives for deep peace. True self love is uncomfortable and will make others uncomfortable frequently.
It makes me emotional thinking about how I've punished/ridiculed/shamed myself to the cost of not only myself but others. It also makes me SO hopeful how accepting that I have worth will have some sort of ripple affect, because I've felt that coming towards me from other people both personally and from afar.
Our connectedness is real, and when you thrive from a place of love - it also helps me and us.
I started the summer with Janelle Monae's album Dirty Computer, and I'm ending the summer with it. This song is my FAV.
SO MANY GREAT PODCASTS THIS MONTH:
You know I love them! Super insightful episode on white wellness vs wellness as it should be. Made me think a lot about how I view wellness culture.
I'm so sad the podcast is discontinued! Who is crying with me?? This episode is also very insightful, and if you're white - you especially have to listen to it. There's a part about how to talk about privilege with your (white) children that I thought was really good.
CRAzy rich asians
Duh. It blows my mind that it has taken this long to have representation on screen!! I loved THIS POST about processing this movie as an Asian American.
to all the boys i've loved before
YAY to Asian female lead!! This movie is adorable - I loved every minute of it. Watch it on Netflix!
Week 34 of #TWmemorymondays:
I have a special contributer today...my dear friend Darbi Masters! We were chatting the other day, and she shared this memory to me that really moved her. It really resonated with me, and I hope with you too! This is what Darbi wrote:
"Ever since I can remember I've been treated a very certain way by men--cautiously. I have memories of awkwardly talking in superficial circles with men because it was assumed that deeper conversation made them (or me) susceptible to falling in love. Memories of men being stoic and unable to show they cared for my well being because it could potentially mean there was a hidden agenda.
But, a few years back, two very influential men in my life treated me... differently. They treated me with actual respect. These men were my coworkers. They never distanced themselves from me because they feared I'd ruin their marriages. Nor did they ever backed out of relationship with me afraid that "something" might happen.
They affirmed me as a human, an individual, a women who was intelligent and strong without fear that it would be interpreted as some sexual innuendo. It felt freeing. For the first time I can remember, men treated me with the dignity that every person deserves to receive.
And even so, even with this being such a positive experience that I will forever be grateful for, I still remember being warned by a women who worked with all three of us that: I needed to be careful with how close I was to my married male coworkers. I silently took her reproach out of embarrassment.
As I think back all those years ago, I wish I could have been bold enough to speak up and tell her what a positive experience it was for me to be known as a human by my coworkers. To be respected and to respect them in return. I mourn for all those years I remained silent believing it was good to be treated with caution and respectable to be held at arms length."
Chances are that you are familiar with this dynamic. Hear about my thoughts about it via Instastories - Week 34.
Thank you, Darbi!!!!!
#TWmemorymondays: A painting inspired by a memory every Monday of 2018. Connecting abstract art to real life. Week 34/53. 'Empower' / 8x8 in / mixed media on paper
There's this fascinating exhibit at the MCA right now, and I highly recommend it! It's a bit wacky, and I loved it.
Furthering my enneagram knowledge with THIS BOOK! This book is helpful if you want to read more into subtypes.
Lastly, it would mean so much to me if you would SHARE my patreon profile with your friends if you're enjoying being an art patron of mine. It means so much to me that you would take the time to support me and my art.